First race away from home

To pick up from my lengthy comment in reply to keliss (last post).
In December, Zac had a race in Wales. Mum was not happy that we would be away for 2 nights.
Friday was just a practice day at Zac's local club. In the afternoon I got a call from his mum asking me to bring him home that day. Apparently, she'd received a letter from the school that day, saying Zac had been excluded for a couple of days. She wanted to withdraw him from the race meeting in Wales that weekend. Persuaded her, or maybe told her, noway, hotels are booked, there's also a cost for withdrawal.
So he went to Wales, but the weekend was just phone call after phone call. "I'm being put in a position where I can't discipline my own son". It really got my back up. If that's how you feel, you shouldn't agreed to it in the first place. Discipline? bollocks. She let's me handle it when it suits her, and over-reacts when she wants to be seen to be a parent. The number of times I've heard her tell her friends that decisions I've made have actually been her decisions pisses me off.
Frankly, she is all too keen to withdraw karting from Zac for her own reasons.
Sorry, Donna, but since I'm the only one paying for this activity, I'm the only one who can withdraw it for disciplinary reasons, without discussion. And I have done in the past. I've withdrawn Zac from a race, and taken away some of his practice days. Zac doesn't like it, but at least he will talk to me. I'm not sure he always appreciates the reasons, but he does accept it.
And we still talk.

Luv, Baz

To blog or not to blog, that is the question

When I first started to blog about Zac, I guess I was looking for advice and guidance, maybe to keep me focussed and not do anything rash.
Heartfelt thanks to all of you who took the time to read this blog, and comment.
Over the last few months, much has changed. Zac and I have become much closer. whilst his mother and I, (also Zac and his mother) have become more "detached".
I don't know the history. but Zac's mother (Donna). is the black sheep of the family. The broader family have as little to do with her as possible - tho they do rally round if anything concerns Zac.
When I first appeared on the scene, they viewed me with suspicion and distrust. The last three months have seen a massive shift in their opinion of me. I'm treated very much as part of that broader family, to the extent that over the Christmas period, Zac and I were invited to family gatherings, but Donna was not.
Why the change? I believe it's to do with Zac and his Karting. Historically, Zac has always been a "wayward" child, with expensive tastes for things that proved to be short-lived. I think I've found an activity that he's able to achieve at, and that has held his interest (maybe something that the broader family never realised was possible).

Also, Zac is now aware of my blog, having caught me posting one night. A few days later "what was your blog called?" - I wasn't telling, but he could remember enough to play around with a search to find it. I was mortified at first, but no harm done, quite the opposite. Something that occurs to me as I write this. A few months ago I wrote about the first time we hugged. Since he read (at least some) of my blog he and I now indulge in play-fighting quite frequently. When I think back 12 months to a kid who hated any form of physical contact, what a MASSIVE change.

To finish this post, Keliss and Doomed. I take all your concerns on board. However, whilst Zac lives with his birth mother and me, he is still legally adopted by his Nan and step-dad. If Zac and I moved out and lived together, I doubt that any agency would be able to do much about it, because his legal adoptive parents would prefer a situation where I (alone) looked after Zac, without the disruptive influence of Donna.
Yes, he'll be 16 in May, and I know that at some point (just like a real son) he will leave the nest. I believe our bond is strong enough that we will remain in touch. and he knows that I'll always be there for him if he needs me.

Luv, Baz

I Had a Dream

A couple of nights of ago I had a weird dream. Just Zac and me in a new home, without his mother. Life was bliss. No aggro. What does that say?
Is it something that would happen? In May he'll be 16, still a minor, but reallistically, would amyone be bothered if he lived with me?
Zac's well pissed off with his mum right now - she pays lip service to his karting, but resists all attempts to make any financial contribution.
I'm pissed off too.
What to do?

Should I just walk away?
Without my financial contribution, she couldn't feed Zac. because of her smoking, She would see him starve before she'd give her cigs up.
I love Zac like a son - what should I do?

Luv, Baz