When I first started to blog about Zac, I guess I was looking for advice and guidance, maybe to keep me focussed and not do anything rash.
Heartfelt thanks to all of you who took the time to read this blog, and comment.
Over the last few months, much has changed. Zac and I have become much closer. whilst his mother and I, (also Zac and his mother) have become more "detached".
I don't know the history. but Zac's mother (Donna). is the black sheep of the family. The broader family have as little to do with her as possible - tho they do rally round if anything concerns Zac.
When I first appeared on the scene, they viewed me with suspicion and distrust. The last three months have seen a massive shift in their opinion of me. I'm treated very much as part of that broader family, to the extent that over the Christmas period, Zac and I were invited to family gatherings, but Donna was not.
Why the change? I believe it's to do with Zac and his Karting. Historically, Zac has always been a "wayward" child, with expensive tastes for things that proved to be short-lived. I think I've found an activity that he's able to achieve at, and that has held his interest (maybe something that the broader family never realised was possible).
Also, Zac is now aware of my blog, having caught me posting one night. A few days later "what was your blog called?" - I wasn't telling, but he could remember enough to play around with a search to find it. I was mortified at first, but no harm done, quite the opposite. Something that occurs to me as I write this. A few months ago I wrote about the first time we hugged. Since he read (at least some) of my blog he and I now indulge in play-fighting quite frequently. When I think back 12 months to a kid who hated any form of physical contact, what a MASSIVE change.
To finish this post, Keliss and Doomed. I take all your concerns on board. However, whilst Zac lives with his birth mother and me, he is still legally adopted by his Nan and step-dad. If Zac and I moved out and lived together, I doubt that any agency would be able to do much about it, because his legal adoptive parents would prefer a situation where I (alone) looked after Zac, without the disruptive influence of Donna.
Yes, he'll be 16 in May, and I know that at some point (just like a real son) he will leave the nest. I believe our bond is strong enough that we will remain in touch. and he knows that I'll always be there for him if he needs me.
Luv, Baz
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5 days ago
2 comments:
Then it seems that there's not too much to worry about. All the questions I had have been answered.
As for the blog, why worry? Zac's reading of it seems only to draw the two of you even closer. If you're worried about others stumbling across it and the damage that can cause, why not make it private?
@keliss.
I guess for me the issue is whether I really need to blog now, not whether anyone stumbling across it would cause problems. Only issue with that would be if his mum found it - the rest of the "broader" family would probably embrace it because it pretty well reflects their view of her.
Do I need to blog, or maybe change the focus? You, of all the commenters, have been a pillar of strength to me. And maybe not just to me! The night zac started to read the blog, he actually said to me "this keliss guy knows what he's talking about" - so there, I guess you've got a compliment from a 15 yr old!
Maybe I'll keep the blog, but use it more to keep anyone interested in how the karting is going. 2011 will be his first full year of racing - so the championship at his own club, plus a few other races at new circuits (good experience for him).
Karting is expensive, so we've already started looking for sponsors. Maybe I need to put more time and effort into that, rather than into blogging?
This weekend he's racing in the Midlands, so it's an overnight stay on Saturday. Even tho I'm full of a cold, and not relishing the drive, I'm actually looking forward to it. Somehow, the prospect of a night away from his mum is appealing. Last December he raced in Wales, that was a 2 night stay away from home. It was great, a full three days free of whinging, and in the company of the rest of the racing team. When his mum realised this, it was "how am i going to cope with you away?" The answer is simple. She knew that if Zac was going to make anything of it, there would be weekends away - so why agree to it in the first place?
So much I could say right now that I think I'll do a post rather than make this a long comment.
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