A couple of nights of ago I had a weird dream. Just Zac and me in a new home, without his mother. Life was bliss. No aggro. What does that say?
Is it something that would happen? In May he'll be 16, still a minor, but reallistically, would amyone be bothered if he lived with me?
Zac's well pissed off with his mum right now - she pays lip service to his karting, but resists all attempts to make any financial contribution.
I'm pissed off too.
What to do?
Should I just walk away?
Without my financial contribution, she couldn't feed Zac. because of her smoking, She would see him starve before she'd give her cigs up.
I love Zac like a son - what should I do?
Luv, Baz
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1 week ago
4 comments:
Too many possibilities...
You have more than ample reason to walk away. We all know that Zac is the only thing keeping you there, but I can't see everything clearly enough... lots of questions come to mind.
Would Mom be able to financially fend for herself if you left, or is she dependent upon you too?
If you were to leave, would some kind of government agency step in and help provide for Zac, or would it be considered a case where Mom HAS enough money, but is neglecting her son in favor of cigs and her own comforts? Would she get tired of providing for him (or of arguing with him) and eagerly dump him onto you? Would she instead find somebody else to move in and help out?
If you were to leave, and Mom were unable to care for Zac, would Zac be forced to go back to living with his father, or into some kind of care system, or would anyone care where he went?
If you were to leave and Zac went with you on his own, without anyone's blessing, how would that appear to the community? Or to Zac's parents?
I know you love him, just remember he's 16. In just a few years he'll be old enough to fend for himself and you'll have to let him go regardless.
This is a dangerous situation. I just don't want to se anyone get hurt.
One thing is certain...I don't expect things to remain as they are for a long time to come.
@keliss. If not answers, some thoughts on your comment.
Mum would not be able to cope either financially nor in more practical terms.Financially, she is dependent upon my income to provide food and Zac's pocket money. Her benefits pay the utility bills and keep her in cigs.
She has fallen into the belief that people will look after her, and run around doing everything for her, tho she is capable of doing much more gor herself.
It pisses me off that she expects me to get cans of coke from thr fridge, or make a cup of tea, while she lies in bed, when if it suits her, she can go off to bingo with her mates.
Basically,she wallows in her own self-pity.
If I left, I doubt that she would receive ant support from government agencies - she's already been assessed.
Left to her own devices, Zac would go without food, in favour of her smokinjg - that I have no doubt about - it's happened in the past.
WRT the family - Mum is the black sheep -her family don't want to know her - they become involved only when it concerns Zac.
It may seem odd, but now I feel I'm part of thar external family. rather than being associatedb with hid mum.
If I walked out and Zac came with me (which I think he would) I doubt ther would be a problem.
Reading this, I am full of sorrow for you all.
England, being England, I doubt it would be long before you and Zac were 'investigated' by some ghastly agency or other. It sounds like madam is beyond your help. Indeed it sounds like the less help she receives the better for her long term benefit.
Zac needs to leave that situation, without doubt.
Keliss's point about Zac leaving home at some point is more than valid: are you prepared for that inevitability?
I do not envy you the decisions that you all must make soon.
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